


Merchant Dearest

by Shizuka_Gun



Category: Resident Evil - All Media Types
Genre: Comedy, Crack Fic, M/M, Not Beta Read, Stupidity, ironic ship, mentions of lube and bullets, not in that way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-04
Updated: 2017-03-04
Packaged: 2018-09-28 05:20:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10073882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shizuka_Gun/pseuds/Shizuka_Gun
Summary: The mysterious merchant decides it's time to remove the mystery.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is purely a work of fiction Resident Evil and its characters belong to Capcom, I own nothing.

“Over here stranger I have some new items for sale.”

Leon’s head jerked over to the corner where, sure enough, the mysterious merchant was standing, his blue flame casting playful shadows over his face. Approaching him Leon was once again struck by the familiarity in the man’s eyes. He knew those eyes but there was no possible way it could be those eyes. Shaking his head of his suspicions Leon leaned forward inspecting the merchant’s wares.

The standard was there some first aid spray, upgrades for his weapons, a treasure map that, while interesting, was not a part of his mission. Honestly he probably shouldn’t be taking his time here, Ashley had been captured. Again. Time was running out, but he was drawn to the merchant had been ever since he first saw him. Something about him just reminded Leon of his unfortunate lover. As his eyes scanned across the items, bemoaning the lack of bullets something caught his eye. “Is that….. Lube?”

The merchant for his part was grinning widely under his scarf. His dear Leon had his suspicions but that was all they were. He enjoyed toying with his lover in this way. Being able to see and secretly help him, knowing that sometime soon they would fight and he would die, but that was fine he could imagine worse ways than dying by your lovers hand. Hopefully the plan would work and his death, much like most of their interactions, would be scripted; a play that would result in few actual deaths.

Leon’s voice loud in its surprise jerked him from his musings and upon seeing his face he could no longer contain himself. With the biggest, grin he could muster, unfortunate it was hidden, he decided it was time his lover knew him. “Why yes it is, strawberry, your favorite if I’m not mistaken.”

“How would you……… Saddler?!” To say Leon was shocked would be an understatement. It was as though his brain had fried, language, reasoning, basic thought left his head. His lover was standing right in front of him, at great personal risk, helping him, toying with him, risking them both. Leon wanted to be mad, but he was happy just to see him here to have this moment with him.

“Indeed Leon it is I.” Pulling off his mask Saddler straightened to his full height enjoying Leon’s face even more than usual. Rarely was he able to catch his love by surprise, but this, this was Christmas and his birthday wrapped into one. This was winning the lottery, this moment would forever be remembered as his favorite. “My dear, soon this will all come to an end so it seemed only right that I remove the mystery from our interactions.” 

Leon was recovering from his shock. Taking Saddler’s hand he squeezed it none too gently and with his most dangerous smile asked one very simple question. “Why the hell do you never sell me any goddamn bullets?”

Saddler not letting his smile falter in the slightest answered innocently. “Why dear Leon, I can’t make it too easy for you.

**Author's Note:**

> So this fic started as a joke between my roommates and I because we saw people shipped this and we found it hilarious and decided to play through the game again but making it a comedy romance of Saddler and Leon trying to have a relationship while being enemies. Then we added in the merchant being Saddler so that the two love birds could at least see each other. This fic was inspired by stupidity and alcohol.


End file.
